Epic has just gifted us with the brand-new Stampede, and player reactions run the gamut from ecstasies to strokes of rage. Epic Games just tweeted, “Buckle up, there’s room for the whole squad up in here!” accompanied by a link for the vehicle’s purchase in the in-game store. So, hype was created, but then the chaotic mix of demands, complaints, and just downright toilet humor ensued. That’s classic Fortnite community, for sure.
First of all, the Stampede looks like one heavy SUV-type vehicle, just right for squads gliding into combat. It happens to be the second customizable truck in the game that is not under any collaboration, which is good for those players who want new things without any brand or crossover thrown in from core. That said, in literally minutes after the announcement, the chat was flooded with everything from “NERF THE TIE FIGHTERS” (random, but okay), to “I’m on the toilet blowing shit out my arse can I get some Vbucks” (thanks for that mental image, jack).
The requests came thick and fast. Some players begged for old emotes to be returned (“Bring back leave the door open and freedom wheels emotes pls fortnite”), while others demanded specific skins (“Raven team leader skin pls“). Then we got the usual calls for older season returns (“We demand Fortnite to return Season 3 Chapter 5“)- the nostalgia sting hits hard in this game.
One full anime fanboy mode was considered adequate for someone who then proceeded to tag Fortnite daily for 82 days, begging for a collaboration between “Kimi no koto ga dai dai dai dai dai suki” and the Hundred Girlfriends anime. Devotion? Obsession? Who knows really, but respect the grind. Gameplay grievances also took up some air with some talking about matchmaking problems on PS5 and others about ranked quests not working properly.
…And then, the Tesla stans. Quite a few responses demanded that Epic bring back the Tesla vehicle, with one player declaring that “the tesla vehicle would be fast and quiet i don’t want no big hummer vehicle.” That is a valid statement but convincing devs about that one after just releasing this vehicle is a whole different matter.
Of course, no Fortnite tweet would complete without gracious energy existing alongside something absurdly unhinged: some wishing the devs a nice day (aww), others slinging… questionably inappropriate links and spammy messages (not so much).
So what does the verdict stand? The Stampede is here, customizable, and ready for squads. Will it supplant the Behemoth or any other fan-favorite vehicle? For sure, it won’t be for everyone. But one thing that is definite, the opinions, demands, and bizarre bathroom-related commentaries will probably never end for Fortnite players.
Meanwhile, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to check if “blowing shit out my arse” guy scored his vbucks.
