In a rather obnoxious turn of events for big tech-Corona-like-the U.S. courts are closely investigating Google’s quasi-monopoly ways and probably ready to force it to divest its Chrome-means-the Chrome. A. Actually, Yahoo seems to have put its money where its mouth is. The wishy-washy Yahoo that you mostly know for the junk mail everyone is still using would shell out more than $10 BILLION to buy it if the deal goes through. Forget pocket money; that’s like… every gamer’s dream microtransaction budget rolled into one.
Now, for any context: The government had been investigating Google for almost all sorts of monopoly-ish stuff to spit out on the deal. Well, remember those times when you were that one player hoarding all the good properties in Monopoly, facing the common wrath of other players behind you? Well, that but with adtech and browsers.
So really, the courts could actually mandate Google to sell Chrome off for the sake of fairness. Yahoo-yes, that Yahoo your aunt is using for her email-is said to be ready to go all out and make Chrome theirs for the sum of $10 billion.
Why should this matter to us? Because Chrome is just about the browser default for…everyone. Kind of like the web browser version of Call of Duty-it’s everywhere, a bit of a nuisance, but you use it anyway. If Yahoo got their hands on it, it would get wild; they’d probably rename it something lame like Yahoo Ultra Surf. Or just bombard it with advertisements like it was 2005 all over again.
But the best part: Google will fight tooth and nail against selling Chrome, and they’re going to put everything on the line. Cue the expensive lawyers-maybe the Phoenix Wrights on weekends-on top of it all-Google’s whole ecosystem; Gmail, Drive, YouTube. Untangling that would be like trying to mod Skyrim without breaking the whole thing.
Then there’s Yahoo? They’ve just been lurking like a stealth archer all this while. $10 billion is a risky bet, but should they get the thing to work, they could come instantly back in the game. What would you think of a Chrome decked out in Yahoo? Seriously, would you be down? Or switch over to Firefox faster than a speedrunner glitching through a wall?
Purely theoretical for now. The courts have to decide first; Google has to defend; Yahoo has to…wait and hope. But if this goes through, it is going to feel like a brand new map drop on the internet. Buckle up, everyone. The browser wars just might get an unexpected sequel.
Oh, and I’m going to ask for it: A built-in ad blocker, should Yahoo buy Chrome? Pretty please?
