Microsoft came out of the gate today swinging. They were out there knocking down enemies left and right, ready to take over and send anyone who would challenge them back to whatever green hell they had crawled out of. And this is the kind of stuff we are all looking for and hoping for and etc. etc. Whatever you want, these goons have it. If you want to be able to play games or whatever, that might be a tall order for the Microsoft crew, but they can probably get it done. Just barely. Xboxes are increasingly more and more about everything but the games.

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And this is why one might be surprised by the recent press update about the upcoming Xbox Series X. (Also, can we just admit that these people are running out of names for their Xboxes? Jesus.) The press release thingy was all done online and posted up on YouTube or whatever, and this has a whole lot of people talking. And those people are all talking about the wrong things if you seriously think about it. But anyway, keep on reading the stuff down below if you want to find out maybe just a little bit about the games and stuff Microsoft showed up earlier today.

There are sixteen kinds of people in this world. And Microsoft has been creating an intricate system to try and chart every single one of us. Why? So that they can directly cater their games to the sixteen different types of the human beings. Is this a big old attempt at mind control or whatever? Probably not but one can never be too sure.

In fact, it definitely is not. This isn’t some conspiracy theory. It’s just fact. That’s why Microsoft showed off a bunch of games. And the games they showed corresponded to every major category of human. One of those games was Scarlett Nexus from Bandai Namco. Another game was Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla.

That’s pretty cool, I guess. But if you were worried about what was going on, then you were correct. You ought to be worried. This Xbox Series X is going to revolutionize the gaming world, and then it will revolutionize the real world. That’s why gamers are going to have to rise up if they stand a chance at all.

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Anyway, the Xbox Series X will release sometime around the holiday season. So be ready for it when it eventually comes. You are going to need to see it to believe it or whatever. Have fun, cosmonauts.