The actual tweet going on from Square Enix sent a wave of nostalgia crashing in some quarters and into chaos in others. The post went with the singular, but very strange caption: “Mr. Will-do-anything-but-eat-his-vegetables…” with a definition of beige flag; a weird, somewhat harmless trait in a character that makes you stop for a second yet does not diminish your love for them. Hence the frenzy began as people united to try and deliberate which character from Square Enix would fit the bill.
Just about every reply that appeared randomly in this string was gold. Names were thrown around with swift abandon as if someone had lined up a roast competition with a JRPG theme. Gua from Final Fantasy VI got a mention: somebody just blatantly tagged him as the biggest vegetable dodge. Then, there was Sabin, strong enough to suplex a train but refuses to eat his broccoli. Classic indeed.
It only precipitated further chaos. Somebody entered Welch Vineyard from the Star Ocean series-the queen of weird energy and unpredictability. Yet another voted Quina from FFIX because, well, their existence is one giant beige flag cloaked in blue mage garb. Then there were insults tossed at Malroth Dragon Quest Builders 2, punishing him as a guy who would rather destroy a village than eat a salad.
Square Enix decided to note that one character was a “walking green flag” (okay, sure, but we want that beige chaos). From there, the thread descended into random demands; one player threw their weight behind a PS5 patch for FFXV—because, you know, why not?—while another demanded a return for those old in-game events. Priorities, people!
And then we got to dragging Zack Fair for some real detective work, how that wise-ass, trained SOLDIER never actually checked if his enemies were down for real. Like, bro, you’re 23. Learn from your mistakes. Meanwhile, Cloud found himself swept into the mess thanks to his milk obsession.
The everlasting debate about Noctis’ eating habits found another flame because of this tweet, with one person jokingly throwing shade at him over the veggie avoidance. Square Enix replied, “We still love him all the more.” Official account acting classy with A+ trolling.
By the end of it all, the discussion had slowly mutated from beige flags to gamers unloading trauma-laden affection (or disdain) concerning certain character idiosyncrasies. And really, that is what makes the little odd worlds of Square Enix so beautiful. Be it a meathead smashing a train over its noggin or a blue mage who definitely ate worse than vegetables, characters cling to us down to their quirks.
So, yeah, if ever there was proof that gamers really zoom in on the smallest nitty-gritty detail, this tweet just did that for you. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to replay FFIX just for another round of judging Quina’s life choices.
