There are a few different kinds of players in the world. Some people go out to win it all. Some are what we might call completionists. Others are just out here to have a bit of fun, and they want to see it all come out happy and all of that good stuff or whatever. But there are other players, and these players are more innumerable than one would ever think, and these players just want to watch the world burn in every single way possible. These players make their money in so-called “non-game games,” which are designed without any real way to win.

Advertisement

This is what Animal Crossing: New Horizons is all about. It’s a software toy. And it is designed to maximize the returns for players who want nothing more than to set their own goals, get out there, have a bit of fun, love it, and just kick back and all that good stuff. What does this mean practically? Well, it means lots of things, but one of the biggest things it might mean is that you can go in and just be a real meanie to everyone on your island. In fact, you can just make your whole game about that. Keep on reading below to find out more about this wildness.

If you want to jump on into the game we all know only as Animal Crossing: New Horizons, then you most certainly could. And if you wanted to jump in and be a big meanie, in the way we described above, then you definitely could do that. But how does one go about making enemies in a game built on friendship?

Well, here’s how: You just attack people and stuff like that. This is not a complicated process. You get rid of all the pieces of ground and make the entire a flooded, uninhabitable landscape. You go full rogue.

Why not? You should do it anyway because in truth, the man we all know as Tom Nook is an exploitative capitalist whose only job is to live off of your labor. Nobody can stand that. Nobody should have to either.

Advertisement

So if any of this applies to you, then rush on out and purchase yourself a copy of the game called Animal Crossing: New Horizons. We promise you’ll love it. And as it turns out, you might even find yourself getting a big juicy kick out of it too. Good luck, cosmonauts.