Remember those crazy skate sessions on THPS3+4, where every street corner had a perfectly grindable quarter pipe…? …Seems that the message never really went out into the real world.
Recently, the Xbox Game Pass executed an ironically funny and ironic tweet, blaming the game for setting unimaginably ridiculous expectations for urban architecture. The responses from players are an absolute treasure.
Xbox Game Pass had tweeted that THPS3+4 “led us to believe we’d encounter way more quarter pipes in everyday life” and accompanied the comment with a picture of some impractical real-world architecture. A few other old-school skateboarders who grew up on those games immediately resonated with the tweet. They started commenting on their own tales of being disheartened when the real world turned out to not be designed like a skatepark.
Another player (@hrow094) hit the nail on the head: “Went to the airport; no ramps, lol. I love the real location ones because they kinda look the same but everything is a quarter pipe.” If you’ve ever looked at a loading dock or park bench while doing mental calculations on the first few steps of a combo, you’ll know exactly what he means.
But the “no quarter pipes” thing is something not all are ready to buy. Some answered that we just were not trying hard enough. Keeping it short, @HunterBVideo said, “You’re just not looking hard enough.” @TriDawg_Xbox missed no chance in saying, “They’re out there, you just have to keep looking.” There goes the skate community-the eternal optimists.
It also provided fertile grounds for other… shall we say, creative responses. @humble_retard seized the moment to diss Xbox: “Only pipe Xbox has been around since 2013 has been a crack pipe.” Oops. Meanwhile, @ashvstheworld_ conveyed in all seriousness: “Are you telling me all of America isn’t built like a Skatepark? :o” Sorry, Ashley.
Naturally, those took technical complaints to the next level. Players quickly descended on the status of THPS remasters. @RebanhoDaLulu stated THPS had been crashing, @BigGuy209, in all caps, demanded, “FIX THE GAME!” His was followed by @cigarley raising suspicions about leaderboard rankings that suggest some shady activity in speedruns.
Real nostalgia, however, was offered in other responses, as @DANNYonPC shared a pic of a real-world spot that, if anything, “Would 100% be a quarterpipe or kicker over the fence,” fairly proof that some of us still see the world through THPS-colored glasses. And @TaylorClaypoole shared an inspirational clip of the legend himself, reminding everyone that “Tony Hawk motivates us all.”
Although the tweet was made in jest, it struck deep for those who grew up with the TH series. TH never taught us just about skating; it changed the way we looked at any kind of urban environment. Stair sets were meant for gap tricks, handrails were for grinds, and yes, we were expecting far more random quarter pipes in everyday life.
When analyzed together, the tweet and its fallout set a spotlight on how the Tony Hawk games crafted their own reality: physics were bendable (sometimes literally), and environments were all built for skating. It was a caricatured perfection of the skate world that made the games oh-so-much fun, which explains why partner architectural expectations rarely fared well in real life.
So, whenever you pass by a curved wall or a loading dock and think to yourself, “That’d be a sweet quarter pipe,” know you’re not alone. THPS has trained all of us so well that we see potential for skating even where none actually exists. And maybe that’s a good thing-it keeps the spirit of skating alive, even as we just walk down the street.
Perhaps putting aside all technical crashes and freezes, there is a certain spark in today’s THPS: Remasters that will rekindle the spirit of that magical feeling of believing that there’s a world imbued with skateabilities crawling everywhere, even if it’s just existing awake in our consoles, somewhere drowning deep within our illusions of minds.
