Steam just dropped something completely bonkers this week. Cheese Rolling recreates England’s Cooper’s Hill event, where people literally throw themselves down a steep hillside and chase a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese. The game lets up to eight players control hapless British competitors who stumble and crash their way down the slope in pursuit of dairy glory.
Real Event Sends People to the Hospital Every Year
The actual Cooper’s Hill cheese rolling has broken bones since at least 1826. Every year, hundreds of people gather in Gloucestershire to participate in organized madness. They line up at the top of an incredibly steep hill, wait for a cheese wheel to start its roll, then launch themselves down the slope after it.
Most competitors lose control within seconds and spend the rest bouncing off the ground and each other. Local emergency services show up with ambulances ready to cart off people with broken ribs, twisted ankles, and concussions.
The whole spectacle looks absolutely mental when you watch footage of it. People genuinely believe they can somehow run down a near-vertical hill faster than gravity can pull a cheese wheel. Physics has other plans, and these brave souls end up upside down before they hit the ground hard.
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Movement Feels Realistic But Chaotic
The game uses physics engines that make characters bounce and tumble in believable ways. Players get some control over their character, but momentum quickly takes over.
Characters hit bumps in the terrain, crash into other competitors, and frequently fly past the cheese target completely. Most rounds end with everyone in a tangled pile at the bottom, scrambling desperately to grab the prize.
Small Player Base Creates Unique Opportunities
The game launched without much fanfare, so finding matches can take time. This situation creates both frustration and opportunity for early adopters. Anyone who masters the basic mechanics now will dominate leaderboards once more people discover the game.
The limited player count actually improves the proximity chat experience. Individual voices come through clearly instead of being lost in crowd noise. Every reaction, curse word, and exclamation carries weight. This intimacy makes even spectacular failures feel more memorable.
Technical Performance Stays Smooth
Cheese Rolling runs well on modest hardware without demanding expensive graphics cards. The English countryside visuals look pleasant, but avoid unnecessary complexity. Older computers and laptops handle the game smoothly with basic settings adjustments.
Both keyboard and gamepad controls work equally well. Success depends more on understanding terrain and momentum than precise input timing. Lucky bounces determine winners as often as skill does.
