Focus Entertainment just gave the internet a huge meme with gloriously tragic moments brushing the least possibilities into business meetings where the vibes turned soul-crushing. The tweet featured a screenshot of an alarm clock set to “9 am sharp,” with a caption resonating with both Warhammer 40K fans and the corporate world: “Codex Astartes never mentions a Zoom meeting commencing at 9:00 am sharp.” Oh, and then, there were the replies! Imagine their anguish, sarcasm, and despair over spreadsheet work.
Let’s talk about this tweet for starters. There was an image of a very simple digital alarm clock, its time set for 9:00 AM. The punchline comes in a unique way. For those who are not too familiar with Warhammer lore, the Codex Astartes is basically the rulebook for Space Marines, written by one Primarch Roboute Guilliman-the implication being that if the guy weren’t busy with running around superhuman warriors, he’d totally exist as a type in corporate middle management. The tragic humor of picturing him holding Zoom calls and working on Excel spreadsheets instead of rooting out heresy is just sublime.
And the replies? Entirely a mood. @IronLadyEther: “Guilliman is 100% fluent in corporate speech and a LinkedIn influencer, there’s no way he hasn’t said the words ‘deliverables’ and ‘action item’ at least once.” And she is not wrong. This is the one Primarch who would say “let’s circle back” or “touch base” unironically.
Then @DisasterMSOS perfectly gave a description of modern meetings pains: “And everyone spends the first 10mins of the 9am zoom meeting going ‘can u hear me brother? Is the vox channel open? Is my data slate showing up on screen brother? Throne damnit! Why is this not working?! Let me rejoin the zoom meeting!'” If this is not going to be the anthem for remote-working in 2024, nothing is.
Some people didn’t vibe with the joke. @zuwulop took a more crass route with: “Fix your game crashes instead of memeing on social media? Anytime this year would be preferable.” Oof. Some people are angry at the technical issues. Meanwhile, @DarienGomes tried to stir some hype with, “What could this 9:00am zoom meeting be about? Space Marine 3, perhaps?” A guy can hope.
For existential dread. @KyaMurder explains: “Finally make it to 40k as a named Space Marine—no helmet, max drip. Quit your 9–5, ready to purge heresy. Open eyes. See tiny blue Smurfs (wait…I’m blue?). Realize they’re the tiny ones. Look in mirror. Congrats, you’re a Primarch. Still stuck in spreadsheets.” Brutal.
Now onto Excel humor. Oh, yes, Excel humor. @bvdemier stated, “We are hitting the limits of excel, so chances are we are going to have to adopt python. Had my first crash course last month. Brain still hurts.” @segmentum1 offered a glimpse of hope, “Excel is not necessarily a shackle. It can also become salvation.” Yeah, sure. Anything that can grant you a peaceful night’s rest.
This tweet even inspired a couple of spin-off fan tales. @RealJohnKegel declared, “Teams meetings are Heresy,” to say—is indeed. And @Osean_Nugget swung with the most relatable statement there is: “This could’ve been an email, brother.” Preach.
How did this meme hit so hard? In all its grimdark battles and cosmic horror, Warhammer 40K is weirdly relatable. The Imperium is just a galaxy-large bureaucracy where the paperwork never ends and the meetings never end. Sound familiar? Yeah. Hence the tweet going viral. It is not a joke—it is a mirror.
Will Focus Entertainment take the hint and put a “remember zoom” option into Space Marine 2 as @cbw86 suggested? Unlikely. Till then would we laugh (or cry) about someone stuck in a 9 AM meeting in the 41st millennium. The Emperor protects… but He doesn’t mute Himself when He’s eating during a call.
